Thank you Philippines, for letting me spend 2001 here with you. It's been a very rich experience for me to live in your beautiful and friendly country. I've made blunders and been rude many times, but have been forgiven without even having to ask. You treated me like an honored guest, I promise if you come to my country I'll do my best to return the favor.
The biggest problem: Your population is increasing by 2.3 percent per year. It's already too crowded here, there's not enough food for everyone, what about 10 or 20 years from now? Don't listen to the Pope, all he cares about is more Catholics; you GOTTA stop having so many babies!!!
Political system: you have a "democracy" copied from America, but here it just serves to promote crony capitalism with criminals in the government supporting their criminal business-buddies. Your system makes all the faults of the past even worse: a cruel, feudal 2-class society in which most of the people live a life of abject poverty.
Corruption: Your tolerance and flexibility are world class, but the flip side of that is your willingness to put up with bullshit. Why such tolerance toward the scalawags who run the country? Joseph Estrada didn't just enjoy his drinking and gambling on the presidential yacht, he fleeced you of 25 billion pesos. Senator Lacson didn't just "clean up the streets", he's a narcoppolitician who sold drugs confiscated by the PNP and enriched himself by 14 billion pesos. Those bureaucrats at thousands of government offices aren't just providing bad service while drawing big salaries, they're stealing your tax money and user fees to buy new Nissan Pajaros. It breaks my heart to hear you passively say "That's the way it is here." I'd much rather see you get angry and change it. Some Filipinos are doing that, why not join them?
Islamic minority: There is an endless war between Christianity and Islam in this country. It can't be solved by sending more army brigades (especially American soldiers!) to Basilan and Mindanao. You Christians have to cut a deal with your Muslim neighbors, there's no other way.
Noise: How can you handle the music so loud?
Work: If you don't want to be poor, you have to work harder.
Savings: If you don't want to be poor tomorrow, you have to save some of your money
Scholarship: Students, if you really want to learn, you have to study.
Food: Please serve some vegetables! No, I don't like my diet to be 50% pork fat.
Technology: You love new machines and gadgets, but they mostly just get used for entertainment. The Internet is much more than chatting, college can be more than a place to socialize, electricity can drive a water pump for a rice field and not just a karaoke machine.
Rigid thinking: You have a creative side. Let loose of those same-old ways of doing things, generate new solutions.
Sidewalks: They're supposed to be for walking. Motorcyclists, did your mother teach you to ride on the sidewalk?
USA: Stop worshipping the United States. Do you really want to learn how to be a selfish, greedy bully? (I know you also love our American MTV and Mickey Mouse, it's OK to keep enjoying those.)
Public domain: You are very responsible towards your family, but what about your neighbor, your fellow Filipino, your fellow world citizen, the ground you walk on, the air you breath and the water you drink?
Garbage: No commment, you know what I mean.
Status quo: if you're not happy with it, stop accepting it.
Tomorrow: If really love your children, give them a future.
Thanks for the great times, you're a mess but I'm crazy about you and I hope to be back soon. Sigue Bye!!!